Addressing the Backlash

It should be quite obvious by now that not only am I a military wife, I’m also an active part of the call to end the war in Iraq. I’d like to use this column to address what some perceive as a contradiction. Recently, my husband was featured in the press….a LOT of press. His comments, delivered as a member of Iraq Veterans Against the War, were passionately pro-military. He is not a pacifist. He is a member of the military committed to serving his country in times of danger. If asked, he would deploy to Afghanistan in a heartbeat. And, when asked, he has twice gone to Iraq. The first time, he was stationed on what at the time was the most attacked base in Iraq. He might have been working on aircraft, but he was far from safety. In fact, the barracks next to his were destroyed by a surface-to-ground missile one day. So yes, danger came close even to those who are “safe” behind base walls. He survived aerial attacks and falling shrapnel, even though he was in an open field at the time, with no real cover to speak of. On his second tour, he volunteered for duty in the base field hospital, where he off-loaded wounded, dying and dead soldiers and civilians. He has seen death close-up. He has held the hands of the dying. He has cared for Iraqi children with devastating injuries. He did this without complaint.
Because what many people don’t understand is that speaking out against an illegal and unnecessary was is NOT a complaint about military service. It is a cry for reconciliation and logic in a time when both seem to have fled the area. I have begged my husband to find a civilian job. But he says no….because the military is what he is. Does that mean that he has an obligation then, to obey orders blindly, or to stand by while his fellow service personnel are massacred daily on the altar of a failed foreign policy. In the words of another veteran- “the only conduct unbecoming of a non-commissioned officer, is to see the lives of the men around you being thrown away to and to say nothing.” We do not criticize the military….but rather, the politicians who use the military as a tool to settle personal vendettas or else increase political capital. The American soldier, who like my husband, is willing and ready to lay down his life when called upon to do so; deserves more respect for that sacrifice. Those who say they “support the troops” and then condemn the very voices of those who have been to the battlefront and know of what they speak are not patriots, but rather hypocrites and traitors. Honestly, if you have not served, then your opinion means very little. If you support the war- put on a uniform and stand up or shut up.
Is it wrong for an American service person to criticize military policy? The military itself says no. Department of Defense Directive 1325.6 in fact states that it is the policy of the military “to preserve military members' "right of expression… to the maximum extent possible, consistent with good order and discipline and the national security. Members of the military may attend demonstrations but only in the United States and only when they are off base, off duty, and out of uniform.” Our family is conscientious about adhering to these standards, as well as those we have set for ourselves, including refusing to participate in events organized by those with an anti-military message (such as the ANSWER Coalition) and framing the language of our speeches and comments in such a way as to make it clear that 1) we are proud to be a military family, 2) we support the American military service person and 3) part of that support means not wanting them to die in vain. Others don’t have to agree with our position, but unless they have experienced the reality of war, the hardship of military family life, and the devastation of losing someone in combat; they have no ground by which to condemn our actions. My family has first hand experience with all three of these, and I will not tolerate being told that I am disgraceful, disrespectful or unpatriotic for speaking out against the war in Iraq. Perhaps this column has been a bit of a “rant”, but it was something that needed to be said. I do not need everyone (or anyone) to agree with me, to know the truth of my experience. But unless you’ve shared a similar one, please, keep your opinions to yourself.