D.C. Redux Part I: The March

A First Person Account of the January 27, 2007 March Against the War

I arrived in Washington D.C. on January 26, 2007, to join the Military Families Speak Out contingent in marching against the Iraq War. On Saturday morning, Stacy Hafley, the head of MFSO-Missouri chapter, and I made our way to the National Mall. The number of people was overwhelming. From the Washington Monument to the far end of the mall where United for Peace and Justice had set up their stage, it was an unbroken sea of people. Thousands of faces- old and young, all races and religions, families with babies in slings and strollers, had gathered together for the common purpose of ending the ongoing bloodshed in Iraq.
As military family members, we were placed at the head of the march, alongside Iraq Veterans Against the War and Gold Star Families Speak Out. This provided an optimal position for people watching and mingling while we waited the many hours between our arrival and the start of the march. In between speeches, I was able to meet Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, both of whom were absolutely lovely people who told me to be sure to tell Rob (my husband, currently on his second tour of Iraq) that they were praying for him; Eve Ensler, the originator of The Vagina Monologues, and a major heroine of mine; Jesse Jackson, who was dismissive, distracted and rather rude; and Jane Fonda.
I need to pause for a moment here and talk about Ms. Fonda. She’s done a LOT of good for women and girls in Atlanta and around the country, and I respect her for that. I appreciate nearly anyone who wants to lend their voice to ending this particular conflict….BUT….Jane Fonda (or “Hanoi Jane” as so many still call her) is an incredibly divisive figure within the anti-war movement. Even though her purpose was the same as theirs, her presence was offensive to many of the Vietnam Veterans gathered at the rally and my heart ached for them. Honestly, while I honor her refusal to be silent in the face of another immoral and illegal war, I truly believe that her presence did more harm than good. This is evidenced by the amount of press coverage devoted to Ms. Fonda’s re-entry into the arena of peaceful dissent.
Military families were called to the stage to stand alongside Ehren Watada’s parents, as they spoke passionately and eloquently about Lt. Watada’s decision to refuse the order to deploy to Iraq. They outlined his position that, in order to uphold the Constitution and fulfill his Oath as an Officer, he had no choice but to refuse what her believes to be an illegal order. Shortly after they spoke, Mrs. Watada was taken to the hospital by ambulance, having suffered a small stroke on the stage. I will never forget, however, the sea of hundreds of thousands of faces, cheering and applauding the Iraq Veterans and their family members represented on that podium. What a change from the Vietnam era!!
A little while after One P.M., the march around the Capital Building began. Protestors from groups as divergent as Veterans for Peace, American Friends Services Committee, Code PINK, and United Church of Christ filled the streets of Washington. Media reports state that there were approximately 100,000 people present. I can state from first-hand experience that this number has been GREATLY de-flated. More accurate counts place the number closer to 500,000 (Fox News’ number) to 750,000 participants. Among this flood of people, I am so gratified to say that I did not see a single instance of Anarchist participation, or other intentionally disruptive and disrespectful presence. As always, there were hard-core Leftists’ represented…the various Communist tribes were stationed on many street corners, handing out their pulp-paper propaganda; and the handful of people that made me roll my eyes and sigh. These people, usually individuals trying too hard to be clever, engage in crude behavior (profanity on signage, carrying a hanging Bush-in-effigy) that makes it that much harder for responsible, respectful marchers to get their message heard. By far, my favorite people present were the trio of college students standing on the sidewalk and calmly reading the Constitution out-loud through a megaphone to the passing crowd.
We marched slowly through the streets, telling the stories of our loved ones- their experiences overseas, their current service, and in far too many cases, the details of their deaths. The military families contingent was met with applause and sympathy as we marched and sang cadence:
Military Families Speak Out
We know what we’re talking ‘bout;
Brothers, fathers, sisters, wives
Bring out loved ones home alive!

If you think that you must go,
There’s one thing that you must know;
They wave their flags when you attack
When you come home, they turn their backs!

The day could not have been more beautiful, and we were provided with a 50+ degree day for the long, long march up the hill and down again. When I finally returned to the hotel, my feet where blistered and burning, but my spirits were incredibly high.

Being a Pacifist

I've recieved several comments from people who've heard Rob and I interviewed on The Story, on NPR. The comment I hear the most is "how can you be a pacifistic military wife?" The reality is that most people don't understand what true pacifism means. It does NOT mean believing in a utopian ideal where no one ever fights or experiences conflict. But rather a commitment to approaching conflict from a different perspective: one of mutual cooperation and respect. As Jonathon Larson said, "the opposite of War isn't Peace...it's Creation." I struggle every day to overcome my reactive nature (see my first post "Welcome to my Nightmare") and respond to life affirmatively and peacefully. A part of this process is working actively for organizations that promote peaceful ideals. One of these organizations, Military Families Speak Out, was linked by The Story's website. But there's another one I want people to be aware of, called Motive: PEACE. Rob and I sit on the Board of Directors and we strongly support the mission of this non-profit: to lift up the worth and value of peace, one action at a time. Check it out at www.motivepeace.org and then let me know what you think. I encourage you to get involved in your own community, and inspire creative, non-violent response to conflict within your neighborhood and yourself.

Three Thousand Faces....And Counting.

http://www.nytimes.com/ref/us/20061228_3000FACES_TAB1.html

Monsoon Season

Staring at the ceiling at three a.m., my mind races with the events of the past and next few days. I consider caffeine, but decide against, since those few hours of sleep that come (eventually) are precious. I am hyper-vigilant, unwilling to sacrifice the remaining hours before he leaves to something as trivial as rest…even when that rest brings blessed release from the anxiety that rests in the pit of my stomach like an ulcer. Rob came home in beige today, instead of the usual green; and I was completely unprepared for the sight. Everything is real now. My period of acceptable denial is over, and today I have to face the fact that he leaves- soon. I am not okay with this.
This is a funny statement for me to make, so pouty and irrelevant. We were interviewed by NPR the other day, and at one point I found myself saying it over and over “I am NOT okay with this!” as if my cooperation or willingness to send him away again matters in the long run. It’s cute how I think I have a voice, sometimes. When mostly, I am screaming against the howling wind. I have been able to put on a brave face this time; and I think he’s been reassured by this. No spontaneous bursts of crying, no morbid, overly romantic mooning. I’ve been remarkably stoic, actually. Which is wonderfully calming to everyone who doesn’t live inside my body. On the inside, I’m in great pain- both physical and emotional. Tied in knots, it hurts to breathe, and I feel as if I have electrical currents running through my head and arms. But I’m holding up remarkably well, to look at me.
I have coped with this whole process by mentally spending the money I know is coming in. I want to bring our bills current, pay down our credit cards, take Rory and Rachel to Disney. I want a new front door and a home security system. All of it, the bills and the Brinks, adds up to the same thing that I don’t have and can’t buy: I want to feel safe. But that’s not possible with my husband away. It’s a matter of hours now, and I'm not ready to let him go. Tomorrow I’ll get the taxes done, send a copy of his orders to our mortgage company, and pretend to smile again. Tonight though, while he's asleep, I brace for the coming storm.